I was asked this question in early 2017 by a young lady who wanted to know my opinion about a Christian article which was advocating for early marriage – click here to read. This was her question:
“I kind of agree with it [the article]. it is really detailed so i will go over it again, but I think they have a good point. Cause what people think marriage is nowadays is something you get into after you are fully grown or mature so as not to make mistakes hence sometimes lead to divorce; which lead me to wondering shouldn’t marriage be a place of growth? making mistakes and learning and hopefully not ever giving up?”
RESPONSE:
I believe that they are right. Marriage can work for a young, mature or elderly couple depending on one thing though: is God the foundation of the marriage? Are they in the perfect will of Jesus Christ before friendship, during courtship and after marriage?
Divorce is not the will of God (Malachi 2:16; Matthew 19:1-12; I Corinthians 7) and just because it is hugely popular today does not mean that God approves of it (Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8; James 1:17). A note should be made that I am not saying that divorce all cases are wrong. God does not go with trends nor does He change His standards in line with the current culture (Isaiah 40:8; Matthew 24:35). So it is with the case of remarriage after divorce while the former spouse is still alive. Many people divorce today mainly, I believe, because they were not marriage material themselves and secondly they chose the wrong marriage partner.
If I want to marry do I as a man know that I am supposed to love my wife as Christ loved the church? – I Corinthians 13:4-8, and you as a woman who wants to be married do you know that you are supposed to submit to your husband? – Ephesians 5:22-31; I Peter 3:1-7.
God knows our lives from the beginning to the end even before we were formed in the womb (Psalm 139:1-18; Ephesians 1:4-5; 2:10) and His plans for us are good (Jeremiah 29:11-13). What we should always be praying for even in the case of marriage is that the will of God and not even 0.0000000*1% of ours should prevail. God has promised us that if we acknowledge Him in our lives He WILL direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 37:5). Let the Word of God lead you (Psalm 119:105) and let the Holy Spirit lead you (Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 8:14-16) and not just feelings and emotions.
Another important thing is to pray that God will work in you to be the Biblical standard of a spouse (whether husband or wife) because trust me, those standards are too high and they can only come when Jesus increases in you while you decrease (John 3:30). This will not come from within, we are messed up human beings we are…because of sin but thanks be to God who has given us victory over sin through life in His Son Jesus Christ (Romans 7:22-8:2).
The reason why many people who are taught about chastity in the church end up fornicating i.e. having sex before marriage is because the church has made one huge mistake: we give young people rules instead of Jesus. Paul tells us in Romans 7 that the Law never helped us because it triggers the sinful nature in us. So, when I am told not to have sex that is when my body wants to have sex. What is Paul’s solution? Life in the Spirit. As long as I walk in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, continually abiding in His presence (Romans 7:24-25; 8:2; John 15:4-5), I will bear the fruit of the Spirit and not the lusts of the flesh/sinful nature (Galatians 5:16-24).
Another solution that the Apostle Paul gives (having never been married) by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit is that one should not burn with sexual desire for their partner which will result in fornication i.e. sex outside marriage. “Let the marry,” he says because they have not the gift or discipline of celibacy as he did – Matthew 19:12; I Corinthians 7. So let young people marry if it will keep them from fornicating, That is a Biblical response to sexual purity.
Marriage is a honourable thing (Hebrews 13:4) which God ordained in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:18-24). It is a beautiful thing and those who do it God’s way never regret. Even if a marriage begins in the ‘wrong’ way if we allow God He can turn it around and make it the best thing ever. Don’t give up, hold on to God and allow Him to shape you into the spouse He meant you to be and pray for the transformation of your spouse in Christ Jesus, because marriage is suppose to represent Christ’s relationship with the Church – Ephesians 5:22-33
If you are not saved, that is, born-again please read this article here and accept Jesus Christ into your life as your personal Saviour and Love. He loves you too much. Please make this decision today, you will never regret it.
Ben-David Ministries 